Since my immune system is compromised because of treatments, I’m careful about being it small spaces with lots of people. It seems like there has been cold, flu, stomach bugs, etc. going on since January with my church family. It probably seems that way since I am more conscious of it. Most Sundays I skip Sunday School and then stay in the men’s nursery (which gets minimal use these days with no babies under 1 right now) during the sermon. I would rather be in the sanctuary but it seems when I do, I hear coughing and or sneezing around me and I’d just rather play it safe. I’ve had 2 colds since January and I’d rather not have anything worse.

This past Sunday after dismissal, I decided to just sit and observe for a bit. Mirrored glass allows me to look out, but no one can see in. It also means I can’t hear individual conversations where there are about 20 of them going on at the same time.

I watch the sound system guy close up the sound booth to leave. He serves the church’s audio/video needs in a most excellent way.

I saw dear people who have suffered losses, from those who have lost much of their hearing, thus making conversation in a crowd difficult, to those who have suffered the excruciating loss of a spouse or a child, and/or a parent.

As I observed one of the youth girls chatting with a Kids’ Club girl, they were joined by another Kids’ Clubber and another youth girl. The young girls gave hugs all around and they all chit-chatted some more. After a bit, the four of them walked off, arm-in-arm, “big sisters” mentoring “little sisters.”

There’s the friend who remembers I’m having a treatment this week (my last!) and requests prayer. And a sweet, nearly-two-year-old who blesses my heart over and over when she is delighted to see me and wants me to hold her.

Seeing all of the interactions, I forget that I was frustrated with the lack of enthusiasm in the singing that morning. I love to sing. I wish everyone loved to sing. I know it’s not everyone’s “thing.” Some people’s “thing” is encouragement through words, some people’s “thing” is loving up on kids whose home life leaves much to be desired, some people’s “thing” is being faithful in things that never hit the spotlight.

Every person is needed. Every person can contribute.

Sometimes it’s good to just observe from the back of the church.

Last Tuesday was a day in a midst of days of remembering. One year ago my dad passed away… after a Saturday of frantic phone calls to family members, and 2 very short but very long days of waiting at the hospital, he slipped away from us from a massive stroke.

It seems like spring has become a reminder the last few years, of the briefness of life. We have had or been involved closely in funerals the last 4 years, all of which were sudden and unexpected.

Nearly 2 weeks ago, just a few days short of this anniversary (does one say anniversary for a death?), my uncle, the husband of my mom’s oldest sister, also slipped into Jesus’ presence after a very short illness. I was thankful to be able to attend his funeral, and offer support to my aunt and cousins. Their path of grieving is familiar.

It’s been a emotional, yet healing few weeks. Emotional in remembering the last few days of Daddy’s life here, in grieving the loss of an uncle, the death of a man who spent winters here with his family (father to several of my friends) who also joined his Maker quite suddenly, and also hearing of the death of a friend from cancer (news like this hits harder when you yourself have had a cancer diagnosis). It is a reminder to continually trust in Jesus for each day, each year.

And healing in being reminded that this is not our forever home. Heaven awaits. Randy Alcorn has an excellent blog post as a reminder to all of us, whether we are healthy or have an unwelcome illness, that leaving life here is not leaving the party, it is Going to the Party.

After dealing with multiple issues with this blog, I think (cross my fingers) they have all been been locked down and brought up-to-date. GoDaddy’s people have been very helpful at getting things resolved and I’m ready to start blogging again.

Since I didn’t get a chance to do a end of year post, I’ll hit a few of the big things with more coming later.

In May, we suddenly lost my dad. He had a massive stroke on a Saturday, slipped into a coma Sunday night and left this world forever on Monday night. It was a tough weekend for our family and I’m glad all of my siblings were able to be there by Sunday morning. On Sunday, he appeared to be sleeping or unconcious but would squeeze our hand at significant times. We feel fairly strongly that he was able to hear what was going on, even if he didn’t possibly fully understand or be able to communicate.

We are so thankful for grace that carried us through that difficult time. Decisions seemed to be made for us and his passing was peaceful! Daddy loved to talk to people and I can’t imagine how difficult it would’ve been for him if he would have survived but without the ability to communicate. The left side of his brain was where the clot was. Many people reached out to us that week and our church family went above and beyond to care for us.

When my parents moved into a house behind us nearly 2 years ago, we new it was an answer to prayer. After losing Daddy, this arrangement has been a double blessing, allowing her the chance to spend a year in the “new” house with him, and now to live independently with a BIG move already behind her.

Last summer I was starting to have pain in my abdomen, along with other unusual symptoms. I was diagnosed with a bad case of fibroid (non-cancerous) tumors. The recommendation was a hysterectomy, and it’s a good thing we did and soon, as it was discovered after the surgery that I had cancer in my uterus. I  had a second surgery 5 weeks later, including checking lymph node tissue. Thankfully, the lymph nodes were clear! My stage was 1B. This is an aggressive cancer so chemo was highly encouraged. I started treatment in January, giving me a chance to recover from the surgery, and spend a lovely Christmas with my family, without worrying about recovering from a round of chemo.

I am halfway through the regime of 8 treatments. Thankfully, I’ve been able to tolerate the treatments well. Okay, so I did have a terrible reaction on the first treatment that still feels a little traumatizing, but they were able to give me what I needed to counter the reaction and so far I haven’t had any more “episodes,” PTL!!

I usually have some achiness for a few days after the treatment. Taking Claritin (contains a nerve blocker) helps a lot! By Tues or Wednesday I’m usually feeling back to normal again, and my only physical reminder is my lack of hair. 🙂 At least my lashes and eyebrows haven’t totally flown the coop yet! I’m assuming it must help to have naturally thick ones.

The diagnosis of cancer was a big blow, not having any idea that I would be facing it. Well, not really an idea. My decision to have surgery sooner rather than later was partially based on “what if they are missing something?” Only the Lord knows what my future looks like but I want to live each day as “normally” as possible. I have been surrounded by love and caring support. I feel nearly overwhelmed at times when I think about it! I want to pass along blessings to other people.